Tuesday, October 08, 2002

uh oh....we seem to have missed two posts of bretts ramblings.....or crazyness......or psychoness

anyway lets start off with what i have to say...and then i'll post what kevin had to say about all of this retardation....here we go::

I did a lot of thinking last night. Well I've also been doing a lot of thinking all day. I've really only come to one conclusion. I was stupid to to even think about having Sam and see other people while we can't talk. Well I mean if Sam wants to see other guys that's fine with me."i really wouldn't mind a threesome" I want her to be happy, no matter what the cost. But I was stupid to think I could just see some other girl, while hoping to one day meet the girl I really love. I was stupid because I just can't do it. I can't even look at another girl without feeling guilty.oh shut the fuck up... you constantly flirt/check out other girls regardless My heart belongs to Sam, and it's about time I accepted that. What's 4 years anyway? I've lived 17, I can wait another 4 to meet the person I love so dearly.why do i get the feeling that if a girl.....especially asian.. came up to you and said 'nice shirt wanna go out?' (not that's gonna happen in a million years) you'll INSTANTLY forget about this 'sam'...if that is her real name. Love transcends time, there is no doubt about it. Right now I'm happy just loving Sam. I was all freaking out over finding someone else to fill those 4 years. There is no need to do that. I'm still young, staying devoted to Sam for the next 4 years isn't going to be bad at all.yeah in 4 years its going to be illeagal If things don't work out with Sam, I have the entire rest of my life to find love. As for now the only girl I love is Sam, and I am happy. So I will stay this way until the day we meet. Please know that you don't have to feel the same way Sam. You don't have to devote yourself to me for the next 4 years. Do what you want, but never forget me. I will always love you, and I have 4 years to look forward to when we can finally be together. I am happy, I want you to be too. I love you so much... please shoot me now


and now here's a post we missed from last night

-My computer died. I lost nearly everything. I don't understand Sam's poem. I don't understand why she won't respond as to how she feels so we can work things out. I don't understand why Rebeca and I have to fight every fucking night. I don't understand why I will never be able to have a stable relationship. after reading this blog i know for a fact why you're never able to have a stable relationship......besides......you're fucking 17!!!! you're not supposed to have a steady relationship....next thing you're gonna cry about is why no one wants to get engaged with you I don't understand why I change freinds every couple months to a year. I don't know why I have violent outbursts in which I destroy things when someone says something like, "I get your message loud and clear, I'm leaving!" and sign off in my face.....did you all hear that people 'sign off in his face'....oh god i thought my stomach's gonna burst i laughted so hard about that one...... signed off......does everybody see that this person has NO outside life? I don't understand why my evil side still comes out no matter how hard I try to hide it.oh shut it....dont give me that 'i want my life to be like a dramatic thriller' shit My movie outing got cancelled today. What is there to look forward to tomorrow? Williana to talk to in all my classes. Wow that's pathetic. When will I ever talk to Sam again? Wow I miss her. I miss Rebeca too. comment from kev:: ""he has the ability to type that which only means he doesn't realize how stupid he is"" basically what he is saying is that he's 'devoting' all his love to sam....and he just declared he still has feelings for rebecca.....wtf??Why must I aslways dwell on the past? Why is my memory so good? Why do I rememeber all the vivid details of thsoe who hurt me? One day it will all be better.

-Keep telling yourself that, you fucking worthless piece of shit.


-You again? Leave me alone. I want to be happy.


-Oh yeah looked like you were really fucking happy.


-So? I try my hardest to be happy, isn't that good enough.


-Aren't we selfish?


-You're one to talk!


-Oh come on have some fun. Show some people what you are REALLY like.


-Never, I hate you. One day I will kill you.


-Not before I make you do what I want you to.


-You're mean, go away. Just let me be myself.


-I'll be back. becasue I am you.


-Why does he have to still exist? Why do I hate my friends and the people I love when only one of them hurts me? Why didn't I finish the job back in Junior High? Oh, an IM. I wonder what Umair wants...


(Total stream of thought. This is how I think every moment of everyday. The - denotes a change in which side is speaking. They never speak at the same time.)

kevin and i both agreed that this is the official sign that brett has completely lost it and and has gone psycho.....literally......as kev said:: ""i never pretended to have a conversation with my evil side and then putting a note that each line denotes a different side""... there really isnt much more to say..it all speaks for itself
hmm....well brett imed me with this interesting message today...apperently sams mom either called brett or send him an email or something along the lines of that
but this is basically what it said::

b4K4cH405: Sams Mom: "If you call again I will call the police"

.....well at least her parents realize how wrong it is for this 'relationship' if neither brett nor sam do...

thought i'd just mention that ... c ya

Monday, October 07, 2002

update:

i have added comments....so enjoy those

knock yourself out

Sunday, October 06, 2002

hey would you look at that.....here's another post im dying to get my hands on... thank you brett for supplying me and all the people around us with wonderful wonderful drama for me to comment on....and give everyone else a good laugh....

let us proceed:

"Sometimes I feel as if I'm just wandering through the dark, bumping into things and trying to make the best of them. At times there is a flash of brilliant light here or there and I understand things better,did he finally come out of the closet?? but it happens so rarely. I get this feeling that everything happens out of blind luck nowadays. Well ok, everything is an exaggeration. But certainly everything that has ever happened between me and girls has had a large amount of luck involved.hell yes it had to have luck involved...have you seen yourself in the mirror? In my case it is almost always bad luck. I end up liking people at the wrong times in their lives. It always happens. It's horrible because I always realize later that if my timing had been different, things could very well have worked out. I can't blame what goes wrong between me and a girl on the girl. At the same time I can't really blame myself for trying. I guess I shouldn't blame anything, but luck comes to mind. It bothers me how relationships are so based on timing.

based on timing? for someone who thinks he's so romantic or at least tries to tell people he is ... he's so dumb. it's like the right timing for wearing a shirt after playing ddr and then a girl notices it... OMG !!! SHE'S HITTING ON ME !!! all you little bitches who think she isn't . are ... are... little bitches !!!..
*cough*

anyway, we continue:


Two people have to like each other at the right time, in the right place, and under the right conditions for even the slightest beginnings of a relationship to take place.
blah blah blah... i can do that too 'copy' paste' copy' paste' blah blah blah With all these factors, I'm amazed I've had two relationships.shit im amazed too Of course one of those two isn't even considered a relationship by some people. It seems pretty pathetic to me. In 17 years I've only had one tangible relationship, and one internet relationship.jeez...what does it matter....you're so girl-hungry its creepy man.... 17 years ... wow... how many of those 17 can you actually remember....i havent had a single tangible relationship..im not crying on my bloggie's shoulder My god I wish I could reverse them! If only Sam were here I would never have to worry about another relationship again. But leave it to luck to have the only girl who has ever really loved me live 3,000 miles away, and have parents who try their damn hardest to keep us from ever communicating.thats because her parents are in the right state of mind you pedophile And what do my friends say? Find someone else. Do you know how hard it is to bring yourself to look for someone else when you love someone else and they love you back? No one said life was fair, but it would be nice if it could be a little fair now and then!can i slap him now?

Sometimes I wonder if I get lost in life more than I do when driving.
...no....you get lost pretty bad while driving...you couldnt get home that one time i remember Nothing really makes sense right now. Sam filled a hole in me, and now that hole is once again there. It eats at me. It eats at me every moment of every day, and it drives me more and more crazy. I'm trying to face reality.damnit....the reality is that you're G-A-Y ...admit it and get it over with It will be a bit less than 4 years before Sam can fill that hole again.why does that sound SO wrong???Unless by some miracle her parents change their mind about things, but I really just don't see that happeneing. I know Sam must feel this way as well. So really what do we do? Do we both go on and like other people until we can finally one day meet each other? Is that really the right thing to do? What if we end up falling in love with the person? I'm so lost it isn't even funny. Some of my friends say to just forget about Sam. But that's one thing I can't do. I promised her we would meet, and I promised her we would try and work things out. you also promised you'd pay kevin back the $14 dollars you borrowed from him.....and you stopped talking to him....where's the money?

... yea... where is that money...?

I absolutely will not go back on my word. So really, what am I going to do? I thought I'd have an answer by now, but I am just as far from one now as I was when all this started.


Well I know these blog entries get to Sam (I won't say how in case Sam's mom knows about this blog. You can never be too careful in this situation
are you an absolute moron?!?!!? if you cant be too careful in 'these situations' why the fuck are you posting this?!?!?!?),

wait wait, just a second...
this is the part where the bad guy discusses every aspect of his evil plot to take over the world and then the good guy just shoots him. i know sam comes here, i know her mother comes her... i'm still typing... look at me type, what other dumb things should i say? kind of like, sam i don't think we should be together, oh ... what ? you read this ? WE SHOULD MEET! I LOVE YOU ! I NEVER STOPPED I SWEAR! *holds hands in head...* yea, i rest my case.


and now Sam has a way to comment on them too. So Sam, any ideas? I want to know what your opinion is on all this is, I want to know what you are going through right now. I love you more than I can find words for, but what do we do? My god I miss you...
oh shut up

....yeah.........................................i rest my case